jeudi, mars 13, 2008

Attention to ALL Visitors

My blog is my open diary. I am sharing with all who visit my life, what I cook and eat, how I feel, some of my thoughts, the good and bad moments, some of my views and perceptions etc.

I believe that I live in a free world. I do not censor others and I do not expect to be censored. Everyone has to be responsible for what they write. I publish some of my thoughts, feelings and/or perceptions and if I didn't invite you to read my blog but you happen to read it, you are still more than welcome to hang around.

Though there is an important rule as far as I'm concerned. If you disagree with what I write, I invite you to :

  1. Clarify with me (so that there would be no misunderstandings)

  2. Tell me that you disagree with me (so that we could discuss, debate etc and if I take your point, I will consider apologising or changing my content)

  3. Share with me your own views, thoughts, feelings and perceptions
But whatever you do, please do not go behind my back spreading word of my blog or what you have read on it, catching hold of people you think were being mentioned or discussed and "attacking" them so that out of embarrassment they have to come and ask me to remove any trace of them (when I already do not mention names in my blog) from my posts.

Modena is a small society and the expat community even more so. What goes about comes around. If I can mention something in my blog, then I am not worried that it should be read. But it is irritating hearing whispers from people talking to me about defamation and repercussions.

For goodness' sake, what kind of world do you think you are living in? Watching too many Big Brother movies? What happened to logic, clarity of thought, standing by what you believe in?

Lately I've been talking about the admissions policy of my kids' school based on age (1st September cut-off date). This is a fact. You can find this policy on their marketing and publicity.

The fact that they make exceptions for Italian children seeking to enter Middle School (31st December dateline and not 1st September like for the others) is on their website.

That when I emailed to discuss the problem and they could only stand by their age policy, I have the emails.

That Baby Girl could count to 10 in 3 languages 2 years ago I have her teachers' report from the previous school.

That Baby Boy couldn't write in a straight line, I had voiced it to the teacher yesterday (not just talk behind her back on my blog) and she had reassured me that she'd be able to show me work proving that the boy is doing much better than I imagined - fair enough. I am relieved.

That Eldest Son hadn't done any Science thus far, the teacher told me yesterday they would have a Science project next term - great!

That another family may homeschool their children (actually they are happy in general with the school but are stressed out with the one-year-behind situation due to the age policy) - I apologise, it is true that the community is small, so even if I do not mention names, a few smart asses can still guess and will not hesitate to confront the family in question and embarrass them. And in any case, I should keep discussions like these between us and not announce it on the Net. I AM SORRY.

Then, if because I open my mouth (and many people out there, if they are not being hypocritical, know that we are not the only family unhappy over a few things, and they certainly have been complaining themselves though not like me on a blog) my children get discriminated against (many are talking about repercussions!), then remember that we are from the enlightened world and if a school, its staff or parents should do that, then their actions will speak for themselves and if they can live with it, then so must I. But whatever it is, I will not be intimidated.

Finally, what is the point of complaining about anything behind anybody's back? If you really want things to be changed, then you have to present your disatisfaction to the person concerned. He may or may not do anything about it, but at least he will be in the know. That is only fair.

2 commentaires:

Anonyme a dit…

Dearest S-

Thank you for your disclaimer. I, personally, like your blog. I've found it to be very informative, especially about the restaurants...forget about the recipes...I couldn't cook to save a starving man.

I've known about your blog for a while. I've been told by a number of people...maybe 5 or 6 to "check it out." I'm not sure, of these people, who were actually invited to read your blog. It must be like 6-degrees-of-separation (or 6-degrees-of-Kevin Bacon, if you're a movie buff). I finally did, treating it like a car accident: You don't really want to look but you just have to.

I must admit, however, when I first read the 'comments' about me, I felt a bit uncomfortable, and I don't know why. They weren't negative; if they were, obviously I'd have a perfectly good reason to be angry, or hurt, or whatever. I normally don't give a flying rat's you-know-what but it felt odd to see my likelihood on the internet; it was like I was being gossiped about IN FRONT of my back. There is also the fact that I pretty much stand out on my own...I'm the only "American mum" and "the new president of the PTA." Those labels are carried with me no matter what. To see my likeness on a website just adds to the already hang-my-butt-in-the-wind-so-everyone-can-take-a-whack-at-it position I've put myself in as PTA Chairman.

You're right: This is a public site. You have a right to blog anything and essentially I can't do anything about it (unless you choose to post pictures of my children...I will definitely put the kabosh on that). But keep in mind, it goes both ways: What you write can become fodder for conversation. People can choose to keep it amongst themselves or bring it to your attention. That's just the way things are.

But I have to set the record straight on a couple of things:

1) My son didn't have the stomach flu. He gets car sick. I hated the fact that he had to stay at home because he got car sick. My day was ruined. It really pissed me off because I was not listened to. I was told by that someone, who is NOT a pediatrician, and who does NOT have children of their own and who does NOT know my child, how he was contagious and should be at home. FTN. BTW...if anyone's husband who travels frequently can 'hijack' some airsickness bags, I would be most appreciative!

2) Those crispie treats were mine. I made them into the little pretty packages. They don't make regular cherry flavored licorice whips so I had to use these crappy sour apple-loaded with sugar whips for the bows. They made them taste awful. Mental note: When I'm in the states this summer, stock up on baking items that I need for the holidays.

No hard feelings...carry on...

The American Mum who is the new PTA Chairman, who makes pretty Rice Crispie treats, and whose son gets car sick :-*

Beau Lotus 涟 a dit…

Hi Rb (President of the PTA),

Welcome to my blog!

No, I didn't invite anybody here in the ISM to read my blog so you have all been gate-crashing. But then, the idea of keeping a blog public is to have an audience, so thanks for visiting anyway LOL.

It is great that you have chosen to manifest yourself. I can track my visitors but I still like to have them tell me who they are themselves.

You see, if you have told me earlier that those rice crispies were yours, I would have rectified the mistake earlier. I arrived late for the Fair, whoever was there told me they were from K.

As for your boy being carsick, that was unfortunate. And if you were sure that he didn't have stomach flu, then you shouldn't have let anybody keep him away from school. If I got it that he had stomach flu, it was an honest mistake, there was nothing but stomach flu or just flu around in those days.

No, I didn't make negative comments about you and have no reason to do so, you are a great gal. In any case, I try to avoid making negative comments about people in general if I can help it. But I tend to call a spade a spade, so if I have reason to do so, I would not hesitate either. And since I publish my blog, the person can always come defend himself which you can't if you only talk about people behind their backs.

In any case I do not like to gossip about people BEHIND their backs and if I do so, I usually will also repeat it in front of the person in question.

And you ARE the PTA President, my blog is my public diary, it is here to help ME remember what I've done, people I have done things with, food I've cooked and eaten etc. I will not mention any names however.

You however have your hands full, the job is a thankless one though you may certainly gain much satisfaction from it. It is an essentiel and important role. I wish I could help you more, but you know my current state of mind.

And you should worry more about people who criticise you behind your back because when people do not tell you what they think, you cannot do anything about the criticisms. Which is why I hate all that complaining behind the back, they are only negative and absolutely not constructive. What I wrote in my blog, the ISM's Principal had it herself from me in my emails, so she at least knows what I think - whether she agrees with me or not.

People can indeed talk about me, they can keep it to themselves or bring things to my attention, but they shouldn't go to people they think I had mentioned and take them to task about things I had mentioned. Come to me. I am human, I make mistakes and if I know about them, I would be more than happy to rectify them.

As the Chinese saying goes, He who Can Stand Straight, Can Walk Straight. I am at peace with myself. I love my blog and the people I have met through it. The blogging community I am part of (mainly food bloggers) is a great one. Do come visit more often and make more comments, I love hearing from you.