A Morning in Shanghai

革

I had to attend Babinette's EAL assembly this morning (incidentally the school song contains references to God) so made my way to school pretty early and found myself in front of my hairdresser (near the school) before it opened. Only to be greeted with another assembly, one of all the 40-odd salon staff lining up military-style on both sides of the entrance, clapping hands, making speeches, telling jokes, dancing to loud music and singing songs. I totally freaked out as lately I kept wandering into places where people happened to assemble, be it the dirty back area of a restaurant before it opened for the day, front of a private compound when the security guards were changing shifts, and a few other similar line-ups. That in a country where I believe you have no right to assemble, except to sing propaganda songs or face the firing squad.

The young man (he came from Henan where Shaolin Temple is) doing my scalp treatment told me that they do those assemblies every morning. They would all have memorised a few slogans, the company's motto etc and would take turns to come out to lead the others in a few songs, sketches or dances. I didn't attend any dance when I was at school so you can imagine that I totally hate occasions like these when you have to move your body parts while others are watching.

Motivation, team spirit building, entertainment before the daily work begins...The Chinese are embracing corporate spirit and functioning with ardour - and I will remember not to turn up at the hair salon before 10:30am the next time.

Then I went to Metro to shop for groceries. In other parts of the world, you usually can't shop there unless you have a corporate membership card. Over here, you pick up a piece of paper when you walk in, shop and then pay up at the cashier giving him the same piece of paper (just pretend you have forgotten your card and write down your company name). He normally doesn't even look at it.

Not that there was anything interesting to buy in Metro. I do not buy in bulk anymore ever since I made my new resolution not to stock up. If you had spent weeks sorting, giving things away and then packing like I had before we left Italy, and then another few weeks unpacking and sorting again like I had since our things arrived in Shanghai - you would have a phobia of stocking up too. The effects will probably wear off in a while, but at the moment the memory is still fresh.

Then I had to deal with our driver. His company is asking our company for a raise. The rental of the (coming new) car is more expensive as is the driver's OT rates. Our company wants to switch to their cheaper rival, but Hub wants to keep our current driver who is a pretty decent chap. I was given the task of testing him out, if he would want to work for the rival company should we stop using his current one...Days like these you wished you couldn't speak Mandarin.

But the Chinese are usually open to talking about anything especially if it has to do with money. My hypothesis is that when you have political repression, you are free to talk about everything else. As a matter of fact, one of the things I enjoy asking people here is how much they earn. That is a particularly indelicate question, but we are in China and people usually have little taboo talking about money.

Actually I am not interested in finding out how much people earn per se. I just want to know how they manage to live on what they earn, why the income gap is so wide in Shanghai especially and what this implies in terms of social justice and stablilty in the long run.

From what I have gathered, the minimum monthly wage in Shanghai is currently 1280 rmb, though what one can do with that I have no idea since one dinner for us in a restaurant near our hotel usually costs this much if not more. We definitely do not eat in the same places.

And inflation is bad here, labour shortage so serious that wages had to increase - though not as much as property or food prices. And education is somewhat not free in this Communist country - ironic, don't you think so?

We lunched at my Parisian Chinese friend's Vietnamese restaurant in Puxi the other day. He used to pay his staff 900 rmb per month 2 years ago. Now he is paying 2300 rmb. And has lost half of his staff after the CNY break - many of the migrant workers do not return to Shanghai after their annual holiday, preferring to stay home or nearer home since the wage gap between smaller cities and bigger ones like Shanghai is narrowing whereas the cost of living in the latter is definitely much much higher.

Then I was told that white collar workers tend to earn much more, from 4000 rmb onwards, many in the 10 to 20000 rmb bracket and certain (someone I actually know, for example) even earning 2 million rmb annually. There are many Ferraris, Porches, Audis etc on the road. My relocation agent travels in Europe almost every year for about 2 weeks and she is only 28. So the income gap is widening at a frightening rate. And trying to tell the driver that the 5 to 10 yuan extra he is asking for per hour during OT is too much makes us look really mean.

So I digress as usual. Anyway driver complained that my ayi earns more than he does. True, except that we pay our ayi whereas the company pays the chauffeur and the latter has not just budget but also policy. And I didn't want to mention that while the young lady keeps busy during the 20 hours she'll be here each week, a driver usually spends the bulk of his time just waiting and doing nothing. But he did concede that the OT pay rise was normally only a suggestion and our company could always refuse it.

He doesn't want to move to the rival company because it has taken him 5 years to build up his relations (guangxi) in his current company. I was told that you have to fatten your manager's pocket during festive occasions plus know someone who knows him in order to be given decent driving jobs (like the one he currently has). Fair enough.

Finally, the cost of the new car should be negotiable so with a bit of adjustment we hope that we can continue to keep our current driver YL. When you see how most people drive here in China, you know that he is quite a gem. Plus he is always in good humour whereas most Chinese people tend to look quite grouchy. And tell me if this is not a sign : my ayi and my driver both have rare surnames and the left half of their surnames is the same - 革 meaning "revolution". Such a coincidence.

Speak Mandarin When In China

Speak Mandarin

I will be moving to China with an advantage - I can speak Mandarin though of course it could do with some improvement. Think of how difficult it must be for those who couldn't.

On our way back from Shanghai, we had a little problem at the check-in counter at Pudong Airport. We wanted to sit together (of course) and they separated us because we had passports from different countries and my Singapore passport didn't carry my married name (incidentally that got Hub all upset - now he wants me to register our marriage in Singapore, hmm, to think that I've managed to avoid the issue for more than a decade, I'm incidentally very fond of my own sirname...).

We insisted (in English) so the girl at check-in walkie-talkied her colleague (in Mandarin, of course) :

Girl : I've a couple here who wants to sit together. Can I give them seats 3A and 3B?

Colleague : No, the problem is that 3A is spoilt. The TV doesn't work.

Girl : What if the client doesn't mind?

Me (interrupting in Mandarin) : Of course we mind. Why wouldn't we mind?

Girl was of course shocked and you can see it on her face. Why would she imagine that after paying more than 5000 euros for each ticket we would want to spend 13 hours on the plane without TV? And why would she imagine that I couldn' t speak Mandarin when I have a Chinese signature on my passport? And who did she think she was to make decisions for us without first consulting us?

Welcome to China. And to what awaits you if you do not speak Mandarin.

Cinnamon French Toasts with Melted Gouda and Grilled Mushrooms (and a Morbid Dream)

Cinnamon French Toast with Melted Gouda and Grilled Mushrooms

It was 6 in the evening (yesterday) and I had a sudden craving for French Toast. With Cheese. Why not with Mushrooms too? I should be off washing the mountain of dirty bedsheets, prepare MIL's bedroom, file our French taxes or tidy up after the kids - but I made Cinnamon French Toasts with Melted Gouda and Grilled Mushrooms instead. And just before dinner too.

Sweet (I always use sweetened condensed milk when making my French toasts) and savory go really well together and the melted cheese contrasted nicely with the firmness of the grilled mushrooms. If I were counting calories I would surely have burst the day's quota, but since I have no head for numbers anyway ignorance was bliss.

Tomorrow I have planned a vegetarian lunch for a few friends. Not that I'm suddenly into vegetables, but 2 of them are strict vegetarians and I thought that it would be easier this way. But one couldn't come because she had guests visiting, and the other cancelled last minute. I am now tempted to change my menu, but it wouldn't be easy since the fridge's stuffed to the brim - with vegetables, what else. I had visions of going to the neighbouring chicken farm and stealing a chicken or 2 - but that place really stinks and I wouldn't know how to murder a chicken.

I was debating as to whether I should share with you my recent morbid dream nightmare, since it really wasn't appetising, but this blog is more for me to remember my own life than anything else so I will note it down.

I dreamt that I had come into possession of a beautiful coffin. And in it there were 2 corpses. I have no idea who they were or whether they were men or women, but they were definitely human. I brought them to a special place where there was a special stove that could cook the corpses in their coffin. It took a long time to cook them. But whether they were grilled, steamed, broiled, sautéed or boiled I have no idea.

Then when the cooking was done, I suddenly realised that I hadn't chopped them up before cooking them - and decided there and then to abandon the coffin with the cooked corpses. The rest I couldn't quite remember now.

Now, wasn't that a truly horrible dream? How could one interpret such a nightmare? Probably had to do with those 2 uncles who were recently admitted to hospital...

Life Path of 5

I clicked on some publicity banner the other day and it was a numerology report generator. According to the guy I am a N° 5 personality.

"You are about freedom, independence and the right to follow where your heart and gut-instincts lead you in life. You are an inquisitive soul with many questions that can only be answered through travel, exploration and experiencing a variety of life situations. For this reason you are likely to relocate to various cities or countries during your life and also entertain a number of life partners as opposed to just one soul mate.

You are best suited to freelance work or being your own boss as stuffy offices and rigid routines are deadly to your imagination and soul. You are a great lover of human nature as well as one of it's greatest observers, which is why you would make a good archaeologist, historian, writer, journalist, reporter or artist.

You are great at dealing with people and also do well in any "front line" occupation. For instance many crisis workers, emergency care workers and leaders of self- groups are fives. You need a job that allows you to meet a lot of people as well as brings you a variety of interesting experiences.

You also have quite a spiritual bent to your personality that may send you on many personal vision quests. It is not unusual for a 5 to also belong to many different religions during his or her life or suddenly in mid-life to drop everything in pursuit of a life-style that is the complete opposite of the former one.

One of your challenges is learning how to not waste time. Your perception of time is somewhat distorted which is why you are often late to meetings or sometimes unable to meet deadlines. Novelties and new ideas also easily distract you so sometimes it is difficult for you to choose a career or lifestyle and stick with it. As a result, others may also find you indecisive and frustrating to deal with.

Another challenge that you face on your life path is being overly irresponsible. Many 5's have a habit of taking off when the going gets rough. You tend be quite casual about your relationships and have a great deal of trouble managing any type of emotional crisis. You may even experience panic at the idea of commitment, as you don't like the idea of being responsible to another person. For this reason, many of you have a number of serial relationships rather than just one life long love.

If you are unable to physically escape circumstances that you can't emotionally handle or don't like, you are also prone to escaping through substance abuse. This is part of the unpleasant self-indulgent trait that is part of many number 5 personalities.

Finding one focus and sticking with it is definitely your biggest life challenge. Most 5's are multitalented but they never stay in one place long enough for one of their projects to grow and blossom. Seeing things through to completion is the best way to make sure that you don't suffer poverty or bitterness in your later years.

One of your greatest talents is the ability to communicate, either verbally or through the written word. Your expansive observations of life plus your ability to see all points of view makes you an excellent teacher. Most 5's end up teaching at one point in their life so others can benefit from the rich tapestry of their life experience.

You are also a daring spirit that has a love of adventure. You are usually very physically fit and enjoy good health for your entire life if you stay away from overindulging in drink and food."

What do you think? Not sure Hub would appreciate the entertain a number of life partners bit though. :-)

Questions Unanswered

Caterpillar (E.C's Hungry Caterpillar drawing)

There are moments when I have questions and can find no immediate answers to them, and then could find no energy nor motivation either to work them out.

I am not talking about the Creation. Or how fast those lilies I have in my garden seem to be growing everyday. There are really many things the naked eye couldn't see/catch in real time.

I am wondering more along the lines of where did the scorpions in my house hide? How did the dozens of crickets that we find every evening (a few months ago) enter the house? And this week, how/why in the world do we wake up to dozens of caterpillars at the bottom of the stairs every morning? Will they become moths or butterflies? Why didn't this happen 3 years ago? Why now?

A handful that I gathered this morning

Should I stay awake at night to see how they end up there every morning?

Then I was driving home after buying that little dress from Armani (yes, I managed to find a moment to buy it) and suddenly a question popped into my head : Was Man born with a conscience or did he have to develop/cultivate one or at least awaken it?

Cute, right?

How do you expect me to answer that question when I was trying to keep an eye out at the same time for farms selling strawberries? But like I said, it just popped up like that.

Finally, I was reading my old Lonely Planet Guidebook on Spain (prices are still in pesetas) as I'm wondering if I should bring the MIL and the children to Malaga, and out of the blue an old question that I've been having since I was a teenager materialised : What is the difference between "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you" and "Do not do unto others as you would not have them to do unto you"? Should one adhere to the former or the latter? What does it say about those who practise one or the other?

Arrgh, I should really work on the meditation and learn to empty the mind. Because those questions will nag me for the rest of the day (or 2) and I would feel frustrated because I do not have the time to work them out. I could search the Net for a few essays, but then I'd have to compare and analyse them and that'll take alot of time. And I have to decide by midnight today if I want to go to Malaga.

I'm off for my walk to the Cascate Bucamante with my group of mums (and a dad). The sun is out today, it's a promising start.

Shadow of Spring

Inside the tennis court

Went to pick the Babies up from their tennis lesson last Wednesday around 6pm and was greeted by this : trees outside the tennis court seen through the canvas roof because of the sun...

I thought that it was beautiful. Like wayang kulit...

This afternoon the school finished a week's breakdancing lessons with Ewen Hutchison (19 year-old from Scotland) with a whole-school jam session. This was to brighten up the kids after a cold and grey winter and give everyone something to do together. Parents were invited to the jam so I was there.

The kids were allowed to go to school in their own clothes today and Baby Boy prepared his last night before he went to bed. They all seemed really excited about this. Some of the other children even turned up with caps, grunge clothing etc to resemble street kids.

The jam session was a success. Every grade came out to breakdance (including the teachers and principal!), there was a group dance and then all the children formed a circle and individuals, couples and groups took turns to come out into the middle of the circle to perform.

You know that I haven't had an IBO education because if I hadn't studied a subject for 10 years and taken an exam every 6 months (and passed it well) you wouldn't see me perform anything. But after 5 days of breakdancing instruction (during P.E., music and after school), many of those kids were capable of quickly improvising on what they've learnt and coming out with a number in front of everyone...even the 3 year-olds!

I think they had a great time so that's PTA money well-spent. The good thing about the IBO curriculum is that there is always room for flexibility and fun in learning. Last evening, the Teenager and myself were freaking out over some technicality in French grammar (CNED Français du 4ème) and not even Hub is capable of providing the answer. I pointed out to him that that was pointless suffering because who in the world would remember the technical term for the use of the present tense in a récit du passé (narration of the past) after this? We just need to understand why this is done and surely there must be a less painful method to do so. The CNED (French distance learning) is my yoke at the moment, but we have to keep the Teenager at his French or he'll lose it altogether. French is not an easy language.

Skiing has to be cancelled for Sunday as they have predicted rain everyday starting tonight. We have been invited to lunch instead at the B's. Tomorrow will be busy, starting with a birthday party followed by golf lessons for the Babies - if it doesn't rain too heavily.

So I marvel at the beauty of good weather when I have it.

Enneagram Short Test Type One Personality

Enneagram

I have sat for IQ and EQ tests and have so far obtained above-average results. And this evening, while reading a few blogs, I came across this Enneagram Personality Test. Have never heard of it before. Since the short one is gratos, I took it. It wasn't easy choosing between only 2 answers, sometimes I'm not that black and white, I could easily be both or none at all.

Anyway, I have most answers (8) corresponding to a Type One personality. And next closest (7) to a Type Five personality. If you know me, do you think that this personality fits me?

Type 1 : 8

Type 2 : 5

Type 3 : 2

Type 4 : 1

Type 5 : 7

Type 6 : 4

Type 7 : 2

Type 8 : 6
Type 9 : 1

Type One in brief :

The Reformer

The principled, idealistic type. Ones are conscientious and ethical, with a strong sense of right and wrong. They are teachers, crusaders, and advocates for change: always striving to improve things, but afraid of making a mistake. Well-organized, orderly, and fastidious, they try to maintain high standards, but can slip into being critical and perfectionistic. They typically have problems with resentment and impatience. At their Best: wise, discerning, realistic, and noble. Can be morally heroic.

Basic Fear: Of being corrupt/evil, defective

Basic Desire: To be good, to have integrity, to be balanced

Enneagram One with a Nine-Wing: "The Idealist"

Enneagram One with a Two-Wing: "The Advocate"

Key Motivations: Want to be right, to strive higher and improve everything, to be consistent with their ideals, to justify themselves, to be beyond criticism so as not to be condemned by anyone.

Examples: Mahatma Gandhi, Hilary Clinton, Al Gore, John Paul II, Elliot Spitzer , Sandra Day O'Connor, John Bradshaw, Bill Moyers, Martha Stewart, Ralph Nader, Katherine Hepburn, Harrison Ford, Vanessa Redgrave, Jane Fonda, Meryl Streep, George Harrison, Celene Dion, Joan Baez, George Bernard Shaw, Noam Chomsky, Michael Dukakis, Margaret Thatcher, Rudolph Guliani, Jerry Brown, Jane Curtin, Gene Siskel, William F. Buckley, Kenneth Starr, The "Church Lady" (Saturday Night Live), and "Mr. Spock" (Star Trek).

Type One Overview

We have named personality type One The Reformer because Ones have a “sense of mission” that leads them to want to improve the world in various ways, using whatever degree of influence they have. They strive to overcome adversity—particularly moral adversity—so that the human spirit can shine through and make a difference. They strive after “higher values,” even at the cost of great personal sacrifice.

History is full of Ones who have left comfortable lives to do something extraordinary because they felt that something higher was calling them. During the Second World War, Raoul Wallenburg left a comfortable middle-class life to work for the protection of thousands of European Jews from invading Nazis. In India, Gandhi left behind his wife and family and life as a successful lawyer to become an itinerant advocate of Indian independence and non-violent social changes. Joan of Arc left her village in France to restore the throne to the Dauphin and to expel the English from the country. The idealism of each of these Ones has inspired millions.

Ones are people of practical action—they wish to be useful in the best sense of the word. On some level of consciousness, they feel that they “have a mission” to fulfill in life, if only to try their best to reduce the disorder they see in their environment.

Although Ones have a strong sense of purpose, they also typically feel that they have to justify their actions to themselves, and often to others as well. This orientation causes Ones to spend a lot of time thinking about the consequences of their actions, as well as about how to keep from acting contrary to their convictions. Because of this, Ones often persuade themselves that they are “head” types, rationalists who proceed only on logic and objective truth. But, the real picture is somewhat different: Ones are actually activists who are searching for an acceptable rationale for what they feel they must do. They are people of instinct and passion who use convictions and judgments to control and direct themselves and their actions.

In the effort to stay true to their principles, Ones resist being affected by their instinctual drives, consciously not giving in to them or expressing them too freely. The result is a personality type that has problems with repression, resistance, and aggression. They are usually seen by others as highly self-controlled, even rigid, although this is not how Ones experience themselves. It seems to them that they are sitting on a cauldron of passions and desires, and they had better “keep the lid on” lest they and everyone else around them regret it.

Ones believe that being strict with themselves (and eventually becoming “perfect”) will justify them in their own eyes and in the eyes of others. But by attempting to create their own brand of perfection, they often create their own personal hell. Instead of agreeing with the statement in Genesis that God saw what He had created, “and it was good,” Ones intensely feel that “It wasn’t—there obviously have been some mistakes here!” This orientation makes it difficult for them to trust their inner guidance—indeed, to trust life—so Ones come to rely heavily on their superego, a learned voice from their childhood, to guide them toward “the greater good” which they so passionately seek. When Ones have gotten completely entranced in their personality, there is little distinction between them and this severe, unforgiving voice. Separating from it and seeing its genuine strengths and limitations is what growth for Ones is about.

(from The Wisdom of the Enneagram, p. 99-100)

Marital Conversation III/Dan Dan Beef Udon Noodles

Dan Dan Beef Udon Noodles

Hub : I will not be home for dinner tonight.

Me (usually never asking) : Who are you going to eat with?

Hub (laughing) : Why do you need to know?

Me : Why not?

Hub : With my mistress.

Me : Which is fine as long as it's not going to cost us money.

Hub : Don't worry, she's rich.

Me : OK then. Should have told me before, now I will have extra minced beef.


Dan Dan Beef Udon Noodles :

375g Minced Beef
2 Tbsp Light Soy sauce
Salt and Pepper to taste
1 Tbsp Rice Vinegar
1 Tbsp Chinkiang Vinegar
1 Tbsp Sugar
2 Tbsp Chilli Oil
2 Tsp Dark Soy sauce
2 Tsp Sesame Oil
1 Tsp Peanut butter (optional)
1 Tbsp Chinese cooking wine
1 Tbsp Cornstarch
1 Tsp Szechuan peppercorns
1 Chilli padi
1 small Onion (sliced)
2 Garlic cloves (chopped)
1 slice Ginger (chopped)
1 small packet of Szechuan preserved vegetables (optional)
Spring onions or green of leek
250ml Beef or Chicken broth

1 hard-boiled Egg (optional)

Udon or fresh hand-made Chinese Noodles

Marinate the minced beef with the light soy sauce, salt and pepper for a few hours.

Mix the vinegars, sugar, dark soy, chilli oil, sesame oil, peanut butter, wine and corn starch.

There are many ways of making this dish and the simplest one would be to cook the meat, cook and drain the noodles, grind the sauces, garlic/ginger and oils together (omit the corn starch in this case) and just throw everything together.

I have decided to do it a little differently.

Heat up some peanut oil in a wok and fry the onion, garlic, Szechuan peppercorns, leeks, chilli and ginger till fragrant. Add the minced beef. Stir fry till the beef is just cooked, remove and set aside.

Cook the udon noodles and drain them.

Using the same wok, bring the sauce mixture to a boil and add the meat broth. Simmer for a few minutes.

Add the cooked udon to the sauce. Fish out and put into serving bowls.

Return the minced beef to the wok and to the sauce. Simmer till the sauce thickens. Ladle meat and sauce onto the udon noodles. And for some reason, I like to eat my Dan Dan noodles with chopped hard-boiled eggs.

The sky couldn't decide whether to rain or to snow and so it snowed and then the snow turns to water once it touches the ground. Having said that, 30 minutes later it finally made up its mind and the snow remained snow. Winter is having its say at the moment. Maybe we should ski again this weekend.

Transforming more Leftovers

Baked Milk and White Chocolate Buns

I went out into the garden to leave some leftovers for the neighbour's dogs and discovered that the soil in all my pots had been dug out and thrown around on the ground. This upset my intentions of starting to plant again come Spring. I am reminded of the beasts living in the vast fields surrounding my lone house. What were they looking for in the pots?

Would you be afraid if you live in my house? I have seen a family of at least 3 deers moving just metres from the house; I know that loads of wild hares hang out in my garden; at least 5 or 6 pheasants like to stay in my driveway, not to forget grouse (Hub said they are good to eat). I also have lots of pigeons, the woodpeckers visit at 6 every morning and the late gardien had mentioned seeing a fox once. Then there are the dogs, cats (I always hear mewing outside at night), scorpions, grasshoppers and big predator birds.

But I've always felt safe here. I find strength and comfort in my isolation. I will miss this big old house the day we leave. And I do not think that we'll find anything as big elsewhere.

Baked Sausage Buns

Soto Ayam (Turmeric Chicken Soup)

Anyway, speaking of leftovers, I had some left from the mantou and marmite roast chicken session. Before giving the chicken carcass to the beasts, I decided to make a Soto Ayam out of it as there was still alot of meat left. And the mantou dough when left out a few hours longer, continued to grow and grow and I managed to make a few Baked Milk and White Chocolate Buns and Baked Sausage Buns out of it! It's really nice not wasting food.

Teenage Crisis

Black Rice Seafood (clams, prawns, mussles, squids, octopus...) Risotto

Hub and the Babies have gone off to Castelnovo di Sotto to catch the Carnevale while I stay home to keep an eye on the Teenager who has lots of homework to do. This period is difficult as those who have sons this age will understand. Lately, I have been receiving notes from his various teachers complaining that he had not been handing in his work, that he lied about having done them (when he hadn't), that he's often on another planet.

I want him to work now when there is still natural light. I'm sure it'll help to motivate him. Sometimes it's a question of getting started and it's true that coming home from school during winter and having the sky turn dark an hour later doesn't help. Also, most of his work is done on the computer, and how often have I myself been distracted with other things when I actually went in search of something specific on the Net?

Finally, not everyone is academically-inclined. I have come to accept that, though in our friend's case, I am worried as he doesn't seem to have other talents either. Unless you consider doing an acceptable moonwalk as one. I am often told that he's good-looking. So I am thinking, quite seriously thinking, that maybe I should send him to a modelling agency (but he's short for his age) and see whether he couldn't do a few shoots for supermarket publicity or something. Just to earn enough so that later on we could send him to some University where he could buy his degree. Just not to end up sweeping the roads. That's me, 2-time Scholar speaking. I've sat for an IQ test for the first scholarship and they must have liked my practical nature.

Sweet and Sour Tempura Chicken

For lunch today I have made Sweet and Sour Tempura Chicken for the children and a Black Rice Seafood Risotto for Hub and myself. I think Hub has reached saturation point for black rice. It's too healthy for him. It's after all wholegrain and nutty and takes getting used to. Since I'm Asian, I've grown up on it and I just love it. In fact, I suspect that it will probably do to make Pulut Hitam with this black rice. I will try this out this week.

The coming week will be another busy one. Playdates, lunches and one very early morning. The Teenager will be going to Venice for the day on Thursday. And then it'll be the Chinese New Year!

Baby Talk

Baby Girl : Mummy, I want a baby sister.

Me : Do you really? How about you, Baby Boy?

Baby Boy : I don't like babies. They pull your hair. And I'm the only baby here. Besides, you're too old to make babies now.

Me : Too old?

BB : Yes. You will die and the baby will still be little. It'll be very sad.

Conversation with the Teenager

I was pulling out of the school carpark.

Teenager : Mom, that's A.

Me : I know.

T : She has really skinny legs.

M : I have noticed that.

T : She's not like B and M. They have a nice figure.

M (surprised) : People usually want to be skinny like her.

T : MK and I were asking ourselves once how she manages to shit with such a very small butt (he used 2 hands to demonstrate the size)...

M : ...

T : I mean, shit is usually this big (used 2 fingers to show the circumference)...

M : You boys are really gross! (and silly, I was thinking)

T : But you know what? She's a really nice girl. Really...

Mushroom Sauce (Sauce aux Champignons)

Yesterday's lunch

They like to show documentaries and investigations on French TV and we are fond of watching them. Though you usually feel bad after that since they rarely expose happy events in these programmes. The last one was about how Turks working in factories that sand-wash jeans contract deadly respiratory diseases.

Apparently the EU has banned the kind of sandwashing techniques that could kill, but of course Turkey hasn't. And to know that the jeans I am wearing could have killed those making them - I feel horrible. In another documentary piece I read that "jeans, and in specific cotton, is one of the most pollutant pieces of clothing that any one person can own. Unfortunately it takes 2/3 of a pound of pesticides to make one pair of jeans, and 1/3 of a pound to make a single T-shirt...That sort of ratio is unheard of in any other crop. While conventional cotton accounts for 2% of global agriculture it requires 10% of global pesticide use." (-JeansFX.com)

People working in garment factories are also exposed to cancerous dyes and other irritating chemicals besides the usual backaches, fractured finger bones etc. Plus they are usually paid really low wages. This is starting to take the joy out of my shopping.

We are advised not to wash our jeans too often (ahem - I don't) and wherever possible demand our suppliers to communicate and provide guarantees that they do not use child labour, do pay correct wages, do not use harmful sand-washing techniques or cancerous dyes etc. Almost impossible.

Actually I have been buying my clothes mainly from brands like Polo Ralph Lauren, Esprit, Armani, Burberry, Mexx, Guess and sometimes Gap (they produce in Cambodia - attention) - so a priori they have better ethics when it comes to production. I also try to buy clothes made in Europe even though they tend to be more expensive, but it still doesn't mean that the material wouldn't be produced in countries where they have laxer standards and pay low wages.

The best probably would be to revamp the way I consume, from only eating produce in season (and therefore buying from the area I live in) to buying fewer toys for the children (or buy more toys made of wood and other recyclable material) to watching what I buy when it comes to clothes and shoes. I enjoy the idea that when I spend, I help stimulate the economy, feed families etc - but kill and pollute, no thanks.

Soy, Sherry, Sage and Sesame Oil Roast Chicken with its grilled vegetables

On a lighter note, I made a Soy, Sherry, Sage and Sesame oil Roast Chicken yesterday for lunch and served it with Grilled Vegetables and a basic Mushroom Sauce. Thought I'll throw away the piece of paper I have scribbled the recipe on and keep it in my blog - though I really will have to get down to saving my posts or should blogger disappear one day so will my blog.

Sauce aux Champignons

Mushroom Sauce (proportions are mine and estimated) :

60g Butter

60g Flour

1 Onion (diced)

200g Champignons de Paris (sliced)

60ml White Wine

200ml Chicken stock

1 Bay leaf

Salt and Pepper to taste

100ml Crème frâiche

Roasting Juices from the roast chicken

Make a roux brun to start : melt the butter in a pot, brown the onions, remove the pot from the fire and add in the flour in one shot. Stir till the mixture thickens. Return the pot to the fire.

Add in the mushrooms, the wine, bay leaf and stir well. Pour in the hot chicken stock and simmer for 20 minutes or more.

Add salt and pepper to taste, the cream and finally the roasting juices.

One can also use a mix of different mushrooms. I have blogged about my Chicken with Chanterelles and it's quite similar, for example.

Mumblings

Many-faced Buddha Head/Vase

2 years ago, Baby Girl's teacher informed me that the Girl had the habit of going up to people telling them that they are fat or have a moustache (when they are female) or something embarrassing like that. I was therefore given the delicate task of telling the child that it was wrong to tell people that they are fat - even if they are (though actually people in question were really just nicely plump).

Faced with a situation like this, I suddenly realised that if the child is told that it wouldn't do to tell people that they are fat (when they are obviously not thin), she would also be taught that being fat is not good. We are therefore putting a value to the word "fat" which up till then simply meant round to her. What should I do?

I have been fat almost all my life. My own mom refers to me as "Fat Girl" (feimui) when she was talking about me to other people. But lovingly, of course. I wasn't born to be a model and I don't think most of you are anyway. We all know that being fat means that the boys shun you when you're at school (e.g. one guy at University told me that I shouldn't share his bench or it may break), that you look like a dumpling in your school uniform which is blue and has a very white belt, and you don't quite like going to the pool or beach or gym - when you really do need the exercise.

But how many times have I looked at a plump person and told myself that she looked beautiful the way she was, that I prefer a woman with curves than angles, that like Caesar let me have around me men who are not thin...Should I tell my girl that fat is not good?

Of course we know that the problem with being fat is that it carries with it health risks. But will a little girl understand that? What if she only picked up half of it and turns into a diet freak as an adult? Of course we understand that being told that one is fat hurts, but if you know that the child really just means it literally and nothing else? How many times has Baby Girl told me that I am beautiful - but we all know that it's not true, she's just looking at me through the eyes of a girl who loves her mummy (haha).

It is also fashionable nowadays not to mention that you are a housewife - but a Home Engineer or some other fancy thing in the same vein. Housewiving is definitely important, but certainly not glamourous. It is just a necessary job and a choice for many. The day we all have to do a BSc in Home Economics to stay at home to sew and cook, we may start getting State pension for being housewives. So why is a housewife no longer called a housewife?

And why are we living in a country that is officially Catholic and not be able to celebrate Christmas at school? Because it is not politically correct. We choose to be colour-blind when we should be seeing all the colours. In order not to offend others, we have to efface ourselves, be neutral. The thing I like about Singapore is that we actually have the main religious festivals as public holidays and everyone celebrates everybody's festival - any excuse to eat and shop is a good one. When I was back home, I celebrated every single festival from Hari Raya (you would see me at the Geylang Serai market and eating away at Mak's house) to Deepavali (thank you Indian friends, neighbours, colleagues for your sweets) to Chinese New Year and Christmas (sweets from Catholic neighbour, roast turkey at friends' house...). Living is knowing. Knowing is understanding. And understanding is perhaps the first step towards acceptance.

I studied in a Methodist school when I wasn't Christian and a number of my classmates were - Muslim. And they sang Christmas carols with us - and remained Muslim. And how many Chinese wedding banquets will have at least a Halal table? And how many halal food courts have now sprung up around the island cooking up truly Singaporean favourites from Chicken Rice to Fishball Noodles to Yong Tau Foo? That was how it was : first we co-exist, then we start to share. Or was it the other way round? And we can still share and co-exist while doing our own thing. Am I making sense?

I gave (what I thought was) a lovely head of a Buddha (from an art gallery) to my SIL for Christmas and she said that she didn't like religious artifacts, prefering a hundred-euro check instead. Is my beautiful vase art or religion? Is money not a religion too?

Now you know why I stay at home, cook, eat and talk to myself blog. I do not know how to be politically correct. We somehow didn't learn that when I was still at political school.

Hub is in Bed

The Head of the Family is rarely sick. I have never seen him take any day off work in the years we've been together. Last night, he went to bed early coughing and complaining of being cold and hot at the same time. At 1am, he woke me up asking for paracetamol etc. This morning, he couldn't get out of bed and was whimpering about wanting the doctor to pay him a visit.

I've always queued up at the doctor's. Will the old man want to come to our house? I asked around and they said I'll have to call and ask. I don't even have his number, I just know how to get to his clinic...

Anyway, this is to say that men when they finally fall sick, they can be worse than 3 children combined. Though I must say that he looks really bad. In fact, I'm beginning to doubt as to whether the kids actually were ill last week because unless they hadn't suffered the same symptoms or had hidden them well, in comparison, they hadn't looked half as sick as their father. Will they catch fever and the works again?

Now I am waiting for my turn to fall sick. I have seen my children fall sick one after the other. Now my strong, steady husband is sick. I have kissed everyone even though they were coughing in my face - because I think that when they are sick all the more they needed physical contact with me.

I am starting to have an inkling of what it must be like to be old and just waiting around to go. You know you'll fall sick and you are waiting for it to happen. It's an irritating wait.

Update @ 11:30 am : Doctor as predicted, wouldn't come so I drove the Hub to the clinic. Days like this, or when there's a public transport, public school etc strike, aren't you glad that you're not working? Doctor announced that Hub has bronchitis and wanted him to rest for 5 days. Hub said are you joking? I have alot of work to do...

Then the Doctor said he could vaccinate me if I wanted. Believe it or not, I am therefore vaccinated against both the seasonal flu and H1N1 on the spot. Just like that. Should have seen Baby Boy's eyes when he saw the Doctor with the 2 needles. Mummy made sure she didn't cry, of course.

To Catch a Virus or Not to Catch One

I've been blogging about my children being sick, meaning that I am not out to hide this. In fact, we have known for a while that November is going to be a difficult month where the flu (any flu) is concerned. Life goes on as usual for us, and we do not particularly try to avoid crowded places or people we think may be sick etc. I may even have been trying to expose my children and myself to the circulating viruses, hoping to catch them and be done with being sick before the Christmas holidays begin. The important thing is to be informed about available treatment and to have some faith in the existing health system. So I wasn't complaining when they fell sick last week, and am certainly not out on a witch hunt to find out where and how they got sick.

My children, like Hub and myself, rarely fall sick (touch wood). I am not a paranoid parent. I am not very strict with hygiene. I do not recall having sterilised milk bottles when they were babies (just rinsed them in hot water) and none of them had colic or whatever. We eat quite local when we travel (without taking obvious risks, of course) and I've fed them curries since they were in the womb. I don't rush to the A&E for nothing and I don't go crazy over homeopathy. When there is a fever, I administer paracetamol and lots of vitamin C, towelling the patient down if necessary and above all, I give him a bottle of water and advise him to sleep, play, watch TV with it. If he feels up to it, he can eat fries, drink coke and eat ice cream. I don't have a problem with that. I probably subscribe to the belief that half of any illness is psychological.

Thus far, the kids have always been good sick patients. They don't spend their time when they are sick feeling or acting sick. They recover quite quickly most of the time and they stay healthy more often than sick. I am probably just lucky, but I think that my non-smothering attitude towards illness has some part to play in it.

So I guess I wasn't too sure how to act/react when I had a few mothers interrogating me in the last few days about my children's illnesses. I thought it was done out of goodwill, but subsequent remarks like "I wouldn't send him on the trip if I were you" or "If you don't call the teachers to find out how he's doing, I will" led me to suspect that they were really more worried about whether my child would pass on some virus to theirs than the poor child's actual state of health. Or they thought the teachers wouldn't know how to call me if he's sick.

I do not want to play down their concerns, and I certainly wouldn't deliberately let my children out to spread disease, but even if the Teenager still has something to pass on to his friends, they could ironically catch it from someone else, after all there were people at the train station, in the train, at the hotel, in the streets etc. For all you know, some of those kids could be at the tip of a coming illness (without knowing) when they set out for Munich. And while he wasn't 48 hours free from fever, he had been well for at least 36 hours and as far as I know, he was fine the whole of yesterday. Plus they are not in Africa, they are in Munich - the richest city in Germany. I'm sure they have good hospitals there. And if you think about it, Baby Boy was well for more than 56 hours before he fell sick again.

What I would like to know is what the etiquette is for dealing with that? Do I play along, apologise and act worried when I'm not so that I can reassure them in their need to worry? Or do I, like Hub suggested, just tell them to have a life and leave the poor children to their fate : to catch a virus or not to catch one?

PS : By the way, we do not know if any of the children had flu. I only mentioned they had fever and 2 coughed. The doctor said they don't test anymore for H1N1. It could be just a cold for all you know.

Lamb Satay

Lamb Satay

They were selling plain lamb skewers at Esselunga today and that gave me the idea to buy them, marinate as I would meat for satay and grill them in the oven for dinner. Since I was at it, I marinated some chicken breasts at the same time so we had Lamb and Chicken Satay with peanut sauce, cucumber, red onions and Jasmine rice balls.

Marinating the lamb skewers

That's our fastfood. And to prevent the wooden skewers from burning I wet a piece of kitchen towel and placed it over them during the marinating. Takes less than 10 minutes under a hot grill to be cooked.

Chicken Satay

The lamb satay was the children's favourite. I've always had other moms asking me how I do lamb and telling me that it's not an easy meat to cook. On the contrary, I've always found lamb delicious and easy to cook. And when done properly, tastier than chicken or pork. The difficulty lies more in finding good cuts of the meat. If you want your children to like it, it is ideal to start them young. As far as I could remember, my mom often fed me lamb briyani and mutton soup and I just love the taste of the meat.

This morning I was at the school library watching the MYP kids working on their unit on the Holocaust and war. Read through a few books quickly myself including one by the Anne Frank Foundation and one written by a Jordanian woman about Honour Killings in her country.

This brought me back to those years when I myself was a Teenager. As a kid, I've read The Diary of Anne Frank and I've studied the World Wars. It is still difficult trying to swallow the senseless atrocities committed against fellow humans. Pictures like the Jews being divided ito 2 queues - one for immediate extermination and the other for hard labour (aka slow death) - still haunt me. It must be horrible for mothers to see their children die and not be able to do anything to save them. Other pictures of Jews being brought to a shallow grave and shot just before it so that they could fall into it conveniently - that was just plain perversity. We also tend to ignore the hundreds of thousands of Allied soldiers who dropped like flies on the beaches of Normandy as they landed. There are no winners in war as we've always been told.

During Political Theory and Philosophy classes at University, we spent alot of time debating on whether humans we were by nature good or bad - and came to no conclusion as far as I could remember. We live in pockets of peace and prosperity - but the zones of unrest and poverty are much larger and widespread when you think of it.

The book by the Jordanian woman reminded me that even though in Arab countries where they have wealth and claim to protect women, the reality is that the women could be killed anytime in the name of honour - a poor and cowardly excuse. What is honour and could it be justified by murder and especially murder usually committed by one's own family? Would their God sanction this? I don't think so.

I mean, you get killed because you talked to (strange) men on the phone; because you chose to marry someone you love; because they suspected that you had sex before you got married; because you were raped by your neighbour. It's a losing situation either way for the women. What kind of a shit society is that?

And they label any woman they consider loose to be "prostitutes" - who deserve to be killed. Hello, there wouldn't be prostitutes if there weren't men who use them. I have seen with my own eyes Arab men in a shopping centre in Bangkok approaching Thai transvestites for sex. How many societies in both the developed and developing world were widows, divorcees, poor women and even young girls forced or sold into prositution in order to survive? I am no Christian, but I have been marked by Jesus telling those who were ready to stone Mary Magdelena that "let him who has not sinned cast the first stone". At least in the New Testament, there were stories of forgiveness and even in the Old Testament, you had stories of incest and polygamy. Look at those Muslim suicide bombers who were brainwashed with stories of virgins waiting for them in heaven. What is this stupid obsession with virgins in their religion? Smart men will tell you that they would rather sleep with women with some experience than virgins. Bref.

The Teenager leaves next week for Munich. They are going to visit the Dachau concentration camp and the Jewish Museum. For me, closer to home, I would like to learn more about the Khmer Rouge Years in Cambodia, the Vietnam War from the Vietnamese perspective and the military juntas in Burma. We've touched on all that at school at some point (with Cambridge setting the papers), but doing it for an exam and doing it out of human interest is somehow not the same.

Meat Woes

A Vermont slaughterhouse, Bushway Packing Inc. of Grand Isle, was ordered closed for inhumane treatment of animals after hidden videos showed several days-old male calves culled from dairy herds dragged, kicked, shocked, skinned and cut while conscious.

What is even scarier is that Bushway Packing was certified as an organic processor. Organic rules currently are geared mainly toward ensuring that meat labelled organic comes from animals raised without hormones or chemicals, it doesn't deal with how the animal is treated or slaughtered.

I didn't know that male calves in dairy farms are often slaughtered almost immediately after birth and that if they were mistreated during slaughter it is often because they were too weak to walk or stand on their own due to their young age. Meat from days-old calves ("bob-veal") usually ends up in hot dogs and luncheon meats. Meat sold as veal usually comes from animals raised to about 4 months old. It's sad thinking of the cows carrying their young for months, having a hard time birthing, instinctively licking their young after birth only to have them not live for more than a few days or months.

I must say that I have never liked veal and I prefer pork sausages. And the more you read about how chickens are treated or pigs are fed, how cows are slaughtered and how prawns and fish are farmed etc, the more you wonder if you should keep eating meat and farmed seafood. I am probably romanticising things here, but I get the impression that in the past when people hunted for their food, they had more love and respect for their animals then we do today. Truth probably is we're heartless sauvages through and through.

Actually I've almost stopped eating chicken unless it's free-range. I'm sticking to the occasional Argentinian or Piemontese beef and will try to educate myself about their ages. I usually buy pork ribs just to make soup and have almost no occasion to eat suckling pig. I've cut down on the prawns (MIL has been scaring me with her stories of how prawns are being farmed in Thailand and elsewhere). Farmed fish doesn't have much taste.

I'm trying to get most of my protein from free-range chicken eggs. Problem is that I'm not a fruit and vegetable person, I'm a carnivore. Or I love carbo and it loves me too seeing that it prefers to stay in my body and transform itself into fat.

Whatever it is I will try to eat lesser but better and especially manage my waste better. When you know that there are so many people dying of hunger in this world and your neighbourhood supermarkets probably have lots of unsold fresh produce everyday that will go to waste, I feel bad. I have educated my children badly as they have bad food habits. Will I manage to help them change for the better?

Water Paintings

A fish tank in the Oceanogràfic, Valencia

We couldn't use flash in the acquarium. And I don't either when I'm in a church or museum. Wish other people would respect that too. Would having a good picture be more important than disturbing the fishes or paintings or other visitors for that matter?

Jellyfish/Méduse

Japanese Spider Crab (can live up to 100 years)

Shark!

Anyway, thought some of the photos I took in the Oceanogràfic looked like water paintings. Eerie, blur, blue. The sharks looked like the sharks you see in cartoons, with their eerie smiles.

Another shark

Starfish

This is one of the nicer acquariums we've visited. The children enjoyed it very much.

Sunfish/Mola Mola (very eerie, looks like the Fiat Multipla)

Today's Lunch

Coriander and Citrus Chicken

I revisited the Coriander and Citrus Chicken today. Ingredients remained the same, but I used chicken breasts instead and only marinated them for an hour. Those fresh coriander leaves I bought in London are still crisp and fresh 2 weeks down the road...

But like I've said before, the result may still differ from the last time since for some reason I may not do things the same way. The sauce was darker and thicker today. No, I didn't use dark soy sauce. I simply let the chicken pieces caramelise before adding in the stock and the sauce turned out naturally darker. And I used less stock and a tsp more corn starch.

Thai Pineapple Rice

Served it with Thai Pineapple Rice with the last of my Lim Chee Guan Chinese sausages.

Hub finally finished assembling the Ikea wardrobe. Hopefully this would mean the end of hearing him grumble about backaches, my lack of sense of mechanics and no better ways of spending his weekends.

Meanwhile I'm a zombie as I went to bed after midnight yesterday. Brought the kids to Opla for a Halloween party with the Koturs and the Boyetts. We were the last to leave - as usual.