Mumblings

Many-faced Buddha Head/Vase

2 years ago, Baby Girl's teacher informed me that the Girl had the habit of going up to people telling them that they are fat or have a moustache (when they are female) or something embarrassing like that. I was therefore given the delicate task of telling the child that it was wrong to tell people that they are fat - even if they are (though actually people in question were really just nicely plump).

Faced with a situation like this, I suddenly realised that if the child is told that it wouldn't do to tell people that they are fat (when they are obviously not thin), she would also be taught that being fat is not good. We are therefore putting a value to the word "fat" which up till then simply meant round to her. What should I do?

I have been fat almost all my life. My own mom refers to me as "Fat Girl" (feimui) when she was talking about me to other people. But lovingly, of course. I wasn't born to be a model and I don't think most of you are anyway. We all know that being fat means that the boys shun you when you're at school (e.g. one guy at University told me that I shouldn't share his bench or it may break), that you look like a dumpling in your school uniform which is blue and has a very white belt, and you don't quite like going to the pool or beach or gym - when you really do need the exercise.

But how many times have I looked at a plump person and told myself that she looked beautiful the way she was, that I prefer a woman with curves than angles, that like Caesar let me have around me men who are not thin...Should I tell my girl that fat is not good?

Of course we know that the problem with being fat is that it carries with it health risks. But will a little girl understand that? What if she only picked up half of it and turns into a diet freak as an adult? Of course we understand that being told that one is fat hurts, but if you know that the child really just means it literally and nothing else? How many times has Baby Girl told me that I am beautiful - but we all know that it's not true, she's just looking at me through the eyes of a girl who loves her mummy (haha).

It is also fashionable nowadays not to mention that you are a housewife - but a Home Engineer or some other fancy thing in the same vein. Housewiving is definitely important, but certainly not glamourous. It is just a necessary job and a choice for many. The day we all have to do a BSc in Home Economics to stay at home to sew and cook, we may start getting State pension for being housewives. So why is a housewife no longer called a housewife?

And why are we living in a country that is officially Catholic and not be able to celebrate Christmas at school? Because it is not politically correct. We choose to be colour-blind when we should be seeing all the colours. In order not to offend others, we have to efface ourselves, be neutral. The thing I like about Singapore is that we actually have the main religious festivals as public holidays and everyone celebrates everybody's festival - any excuse to eat and shop is a good one. When I was back home, I celebrated every single festival from Hari Raya (you would see me at the Geylang Serai market and eating away at Mak's house) to Deepavali (thank you Indian friends, neighbours, colleagues for your sweets) to Chinese New Year and Christmas (sweets from Catholic neighbour, roast turkey at friends' house...). Living is knowing. Knowing is understanding. And understanding is perhaps the first step towards acceptance.

I studied in a Methodist school when I wasn't Christian and a number of my classmates were - Muslim. And they sang Christmas carols with us - and remained Muslim. And how many Chinese wedding banquets will have at least a Halal table? And how many halal food courts have now sprung up around the island cooking up truly Singaporean favourites from Chicken Rice to Fishball Noodles to Yong Tau Foo? That was how it was : first we co-exist, then we start to share. Or was it the other way round? And we can still share and co-exist while doing our own thing. Am I making sense?

I gave (what I thought was) a lovely head of a Buddha (from an art gallery) to my SIL for Christmas and she said that she didn't like religious artifacts, prefering a hundred-euro check instead. Is my beautiful vase art or religion? Is money not a religion too?

Now you know why I stay at home, cook, eat and talk to myself blog. I do not know how to be politically correct. We somehow didn't learn that when I was still at political school.