Another Quiet Birthday/ Marital Conversation II

8:00

H : I won't be back for dinner this evening.

M: (One eye open) Ah bon.

H : (Sudden realisation) Oh, it's your Birthday!

M: It's not important.

H : We can always eat out tomorrow.

M: No, forget it, I have to cook up a feast tomorrow for Thursday.

H : We'll have to eat out tonight then.

M: No, it's OK. I'm making Chicken Tikka Masala. (Went back to sleep)

12:00

H : (phone) I've reserved dinner at Europa 92 (Pavarotti's restaurant)

M: Didn't you say you won't be back for dinner?

H : I've cancelled the dinner.

M: Are you sure you can do it? What kind of a dinner is it?

H : No, it's not important. I've cancelled it (Me : raised eyebrows)

M: As you wish.

The difference between Hub and I when it comes to Birthdays is that I've always celebrated it as a kid (e.g. little Lotus at the Zoo with personalised T-shirt etc) and as a young adult, whereas I believe that it has always been a non-event in his family. My sister-in-law (SIL) was born 10 years and 2 days before me and when I asked my MIL a few days ago if they were going to do something for the lady's Bday, she said no without any hesitation. This year, I didn't remind the Hub about his sis's Bday so I am quite sure that he wouldn't remember to ring her and at least send her his good wishes.

Added to Bdays being a non-event is the fact that he wouldn't remember anybody's Bday except his own. Every single time he had to fill out the kids' Bdays on some form, you can be sure to have him call you to check out the dates. And each time he would valiantly try to get them right - but to no avail.

So he is pretty practical on the subject as he is on almost everything else : remember your own Bday, buy your own gift and reserve your own babysitter and restaurant - if you want to celebrate your Bday.

Only he has married a Singaporean girl. And back where I come from, we like to have the best of both worlds, if possible have the cake and eat it too, if you wish.

So I want HIM to remember my Birthday, I want my present, and I wouldn't mind a little celebration too. Or even better, a cake with candles to blow out - like when I was a little girl.

And I really hate it when one doesn't remember when my Bday is, when I have to remind the person, and then receive a prezzie or a cake like some afterthought.

So I've obstinately refused to go hunt for a babysitter and reserve a table on my own Birthday. Or tell him where to buy a Bday cake at the last minute. And I almost never have a present on the day itself - usually it'll be grouped with Christmas and other forgotten occasions and be something I'd buy and then put it down as a present from the Hub.

On a happy note, my dear German penpal didn't forget the occasion though. Never did, as a matter of fact. Sent me an email yesterday though he's really busy. He's a Catholic priest in charge of annulments etc - surely some of them must include forgotten or hastily-remembered Bdays as a reason.